la guillotine

Email to Heather Evans:
Mon, Jun 8, 2009 at 8:37 PM

Ok- Kelly just kicked us out of villekulla. i'm moving into mindy's house for a few months until my 'new job' comes through. don't suppose you want to come up here and share an apartment with me and aizik? COME ON! it would be so fun! i love you millions and miss you tons. stay tuned...


Email to Heather Evans:
Tue, Jun 9, 2009 at 8:06 PM

man. i'm a little panicky tonight. too much adrenaline in my system. i am SO excited and a little worried; i want to be totally unattached to the outcome (but of course my biggest fear is always that i'll do wrong by aizik!)
even if he does stay with colby- he will be just fine; honestly maybe it's best. why do i think i have to be a better parent than colby anyhow? that's just dumb. what's wrong with saying 'well, shit. i was a rock star for a while there but then i hit a snag. why don't you try some of this parenting stuff while i fix things up?' i feel so self-centered when i realize how many terrible things go on in the world and i worry about my petty circumstances. i just CANNOT imagine my life without that kid and would not be able to live with myself if i let him down. i know it's bound to happen sooner or later. i should do some volunteer work to get some perspective.

métamorphose

Calendar of the Soul

[May 24, 2009 - May 30, 2009]

Seventh Week

My self is threatening to fly forth,
Lured strongly by the world's enticing light.
Come forth, prophetic feeling,
Take up with strength your rightful task:
Replace in me the power of thought
Which in the senses' glory
Would gladly lose itself.

un loup déguisé en mouton

Matthew 7:15

Dear one,

“A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one thing or the other, and we then know how to meet him.” -Aesop

la canette

exerpt from email to friend:

"Phew... I've finally landed at the farm and signed the rest of the grueling D word papers. The circus here at Villekulla is incredibly distracting; I had 4 runner ducklings marching around my kitchen last week and another kit of rabbits were born today. Our calf Luna comes home tomorrow and you would not BELIEVE how very pathetic turkey chicks are; like opium den junkies. Lots of gardening (I'm talking pitchforks back-filling terraces with compost) and fence building. I cruise around in this riding lawnmower that I call my tractor but for the life of me cannot keep up with how effing hard farmers work. This weekend we have a workshop on the farm with a kiwi who will teach us to sculpt our very own outdoor bread ovens and we'll have a band/potluck Saturday night. PLUS I just polished my resume and need to sling it around the 530."

changer de trottoir

have you ever met a sad sepia sanguine? interesting creatures- like the octopus. elusive et très mystérieux. no bones, you know. so no spine either. we know this characteristic to be undesirable if describing our protector and advocate; our mom.

wave of sorrow don't drown me now. i see the island ahead somehow. i see the island, her sands are fair. wave of sorrow take me there.

if all karmic, cosmic and geographic conditions aligned (a saturn return, maybe?) to form a chrysalis (we should call this cocoon Villekulla) and encapsulated dear octopus while she morphed and hardened, perhaps the waves would toss the egg onto shore and a more perfect creature would burst out to take your hand. one of the sky this time?


Calendar of the Soul

[May 17, 2009 - May 23, 2009]

Sixth Week

There has arisen from its narrow limits
My self and finds itself
As revelation of all worlds
Within the sway of time and space;
The world, as archetype divine,
Displays to me at every turn
The truth of my own likeness.

reprendre au début

go go go go now. out of the nest it's time. go go go now circus girl without a safety net. here here now don't cry; you raised your hand for the assignment. tuck those ribbons under your helmet be a good soldier. first my left foot then my right behind the other. pantyhose running in the cold.

she began the day with stifled sobs and ended the same way; heart aching for her puppy in the first, bursting with gratitude for her son in the second. the riddle of impoverished piety twists her stomach and The Court holds an emergency assemblage to layout phase 1 of independent resource procurement. experts were flown in from the far corners and input is anticipated from the queen, the manager, the entrepreneur, the accountant and public relations.

ah ha. power recycling insight. one arrives on the scene with a bag of jewels in the form of grace and knacks. these gifts may be bartered for money. one should trade this money for experiences, education, security and all manner of accoutrements to life. do you follow this flow chart so far? the wisdom gained from purchase may replenish your bag of jewels. repeat. horde and you may just as well be schlepping a bag of stones.